Cat Servant
by VelociticDepths
Summary: Yamamoto Takeshi isn't sure how his life's become this way. The funny thing is, he's not even a cat person. AU, first fanfic.


**Umm, hey. VelociticDepths speaking. So this is my first fanfic, so don't judge too harshly, okay people? I have no idea where this came from; I was inspired by this fanfic (which I cannot remember the title of). **

**Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me.**

Takeshi isn't a cat person. He's more of a dog person, really. They want love, food, petting, walks in the park…That's simple, really. He gets that. Now cats, on the other hand are as mystic to him as aliens. Why his room is covered in cat hair, he can't fathom. He doesn't even know where the blasted creature came from.

And it's completely true: He had opened up the door one morning, ready to go to baseball practice and it was just there. Silver, lithe and completely, utterly feral. It had streaked into the house, not before dragging its claws across his ankle, and hissing. Opting to abandon the prospect of going to practice early in favour of chasing the unwanted intruder out, he confronted the cat, which had stopped in front of the refrigerator. In one swift motion, the animal leapt on top of the aforementioned appliance, and hissed. That's when Takeshi tried to _gently_ remove it from its perch. However, that was obviously too easy, too optimistic of Takeshi to believe that the creature would leave without a fight. The animal raked its claws at the patch of air where Takeshi's hand was, narrowly missing its intended target.

So the final result is that Takeshi, after narrowly escaping the mauling the cat was obviously intending to inflict on his hand, missed baseball practice. Which put him in a bad mood, to state it frankly. Not many people would have noticed the difference, but obviously, Tsuna, with his uncanny perception skills, noticed.

"All cats are insane," assures Tsuna. He should know, he has one. Silver, like the feline overlord that has taken up residence in Takeshi's house, huge green eyes and enormous territory issues. The wretched thing hasn't missed a single chance to shred Takeshi's shoes, whether he's wearing them or not.

At least_ Tsuna's _cat shows affection. With this furry menace? Takeshi has to constantly duck, as the cursed animal hasn't let up in barrages of attacks that often come unexpected. Like the time the cat attacked as he was coming up the stairs. Takeshi nearly died of heart attack, not to mention almost taking the painful way down the stairs.

Takeshi may not have trained it out of swiping, but the cat has already taught him to be constantly on his guard.

In the back of his mind, Takeshi wonders why he hasn't called the SPCA to deal with his new feline tormentor. If he's completely honest, he's probably not going to make that call no matter how many times he has to swipe antiseptic over his wounds. He isn't certain that any animal control officer can handle this furry demon, and well, he hears stories about animal shelters not even being able to find good homes for the _cute, tame _animals.

So, being the Good Samaritan he is, he buys a box for cat litter, a sack of cat litter, and a shovel to scoop up the cat litter. He also buys a bag of cat food.

And when the beast refuses to eat that food, he tries some of the food that Tsuna suggests. When the cat refuses to eat, he's getting seriously worried because if the cat dies in his house, he's pretty sure it's bad.

He immediately loses all concern for the little fiend when it takes off with a tuna while his back is turned. His dad simply chuckles, but Takeshi is reaching the end of his rope.

Every day, the cat watches as he attempts to cook dinner and every day, just as Takeshi turns his back, the food's gone with the cat.

He tries everything Tsuna suggests. The only thing he doesn't do is use the spray bottle. Every time he edges his hand, quietly, towards the bottle, the cat fixates him with a look of horror so intense that Takeshi feels that no meal is worth what horror the cat will inflict on him in retaliation for being sprayed.

When the cat tries to take off his ear while trying to slink off with some purloined salmon, he's had it. Holding it up by the scuff of its neck, he holds it so that their noses are on the same level but not touching; he values his nose more than that. The thing howls like a horde of demons; for a second Takeshi is afraid he's hurting it, until he sees the rage reflected in its eyes.

"Enough is enough," he chastises the cat. "You'll eat the fish I leave for you and nothing more. This place is not your personal refrigerator."

In response, the cat makes a half-hearted swipe at Takeshi before realizing it's futile.

"I'm serious," Takeshi says. "One more time and it's back to kibble."

Seeming to take Takeshi seriously, it gives him an intense glare, fixating its grey eyes on Takeshi's own, as if to say, "There better be a lot of fish, bastard."

And so, Takeshi has formed a truce with the animal. This fact does not stop the fiend from swiping at him every time he walks by. Takeshi swears it's getting worse; he's got scratches littered all over his arms, legs and ankles. Quick reflexes on his part prevent the little devil from taking his eye out, along with a large chunk of his face.

Maybe that huge black cat is the cause of the trouble. The one with scars all over its face. He's seen his feline highness slinking around with it. That cat is a ruthless stray that constantly causes trouble, but mostly to Tsuna. Takeshi seems to recall a whole bunch of cats, but the memory is too fuzzy to be sure.

But soon, Tsuna seems to have gained the respect of the enormous cat, and so Takeshi's feline overlord has become less hostile, but not friendly. Never friendly.

But the attacks have decreased, and he's grateful for that. Now the cat is only prone to attacking him two-thirds of the time. Takeshi bets he would be the worldwide dodge ball champion; he's been trained by a very through teacher.

And his dad leaves for a month long sushi expo of sorts and Takeshi's left alone in the house. Somewhere in the second week is when he begins talking with the cat. Takeshi's not really sure why; possibly because he hasn't talked to anyone inside his house for too long.

"So, anyway, we all think that Tsuna should just man up and ask Sasagawa out," Takeshi says. "We all know he all but worships her."

The cat seems to be disinterested, but yowls loudly to voice its opinion.

"Well," Takeshi, "That's what everyone thinks, but every time I try to get him to do it, he starts freaking out and stammering. I say, what will he do when someone does ask her out?"

The cat digs its claws into the stool it's perched on and prepares to pounce.

"Yeah, crying at home with his furball to comfort him. That makes for a pathetic image." Takeshi dodges the pounce aimed to take off his ear and heads towards the kitchen, with the intention of getting a snack for his feline lord and himself.

The cat lies on Takeshi's seat and stares until he gets a bit of leftover tuna for it. The cat makes do with a half-hearted swipe at his toes and crouches over its snack. Takeshi takes this as agreement and leaves the little demon to its snack.

The next week, the weather really begins to get cold. The cat lounges over the heat vents, trying to keep warm. Every time Takeshi passes by, the feline gives him a look of hatred. Takeshi can practically see the black aura radiating from it.

"Don't glare at me like that. I'm not the one that came up with winter," Takeshi says to the cat. "Besides, if you get off the vent, the room will warm up faster."

The cat pointedly ignores this statement and continues to hog the heat.

One day, Takeshi comes home from school to find no less than six cats in his living room, leaving him to wonder _what _exactly the cat does when he's at school. Most of the cats disappear, and the only ones left are the black one and his regular tormentor.

The black cat seems only to be using his house for the heat, not that the house has a great insulating system. It comes and goes, and every day, Takeshi comes back to a house that has had six crazy cats running through it. Other than the huge black one and his own personal demon-cat overlord, there's the beige-ish, tan-ish one that has dangerously sharp claws and a crescent shaped mark on its stomach, the small black one with irregular patches running down what would be its cheeks, another black one that seems to hunt down whatever it targets, no matter what, and a brown one with an oddly green patch of fur on its head. There's cat hair everywhere.

"I don't know how it's come to this," he says to Tsuna when he comes over. He throws up his hands, cat hairs of various colours floating around him.

And, finally, when the scarred ringleader catches sight of Tsuna, it stops for a moment. Stares. Without so much as a warning, it lunges at Tsuna, but Tsuna, sensing a malevolent presence, flees. Takeshi watches in disbelief as the entire gang of cats begin running after Tsuna.

But all too soon, the furry demon returns (minus five other LOUD cats), and demands its dinner. Takeshi is both relieved and disappointed. If the cat left, he wouldn't be under constant attack, but on the other hand, it would just be odd not to have it around, swiping at him as he goes by.

Tonight is the coldest night that Takeshi ever can remember. Meteorologists say the temperature's reached an all-time low. It is pretty freaking cold. He's wrapped four blankets around himself in an effort to keep warm. To keep the cat from freezing to death (which would be bad), he's left a blanket on top of the vent the cat's been occupying. He's pretty sure the cat's going to find the blanket inadequate. True enough, the cat stalks into his bedroom, and plops itself on the bed, glaring at Takeshi all the while. Startled by the sudden weight next to him, Takeshi's thought processes are still muddled by sleep. Takeshi blearily blinks at the intruder and says, "Great. Here to steal my blankets?"

The cat growls at Takeshi and burrows under the blankets. Takeshi goes very still. He knows that if the cat is disturbed in the slightest way, Takeshi will pay for it. Sighing, he shifts slightly to make more room between the cat and his leg and closes his eyes. One good thing about this arrangement: the cat is practically a heater, and between their respective body heats, the blankets begin to warm up and they both fall asleep.

Takeshi wakes, strangely warm in the otherwise cold air. He feels softness under his palm. Slowly looking down, he sees a bizarre event that cannot possibly be true. The cat is purring softly, and Takeshi sees his hand moving over its stomach. _Giving the cat a belly rub. _Suddenly, they both realize the situation. The cat rakes his claws across Takeshi's right eye and flees.

"Right," Takeshi says to the empty air, attempting to staunch the blood flow. "Let us never speak of this again."

Tsuna seems pretty worried when Takeshi arrives at school with a pad over his eye. Takeshi shrugs; it's more of an annoyance -a severe annoyance- than painful. The cat, surprisingly, didn't inflict all that deep of a wound.

Takeshi's looking the window, tuning out the history teacher when he sees a flurry of small bodies outside on the school yard. He sees a flash of silver among the midst of flailing bodies. The teacher chooses to call on him just then.

"Haha, I'm sorry, I wasn't listening," he apologizes good-naturedly.

The teacher sighs and calls on Tsuna, who is worse than him, Takeshi's pretty sure. He gets the feeling that Tsuna was watching Sasagawa rather than listening to the teacher. Takeshi props his chin on his hand and makes an effort to actually focus on the lesson that's being taught.

As class ends for lunch, Takeshi looks around for the cat, but not finding it, he goes to the rooftop to eat his lunch. As he emerges from the door into the bright sunlight, he's pinned to the wall, a tonfa to his throat.

"My office, after school," the prefect growls, clearly not in the best of moods.

"Why?" Takeshi's sure to smile, hoping that Hibari will let him off the hook, whatever's he's done.

The prefect doesn't answer, but presses the tonfa harder into Takeshi's throat before releasing him and disappearing. Takeshi takes a deep breath, refilling his lungs before wondering just what vexed Hibari so.

After school, Takeshi arrives in front of Hibari's office. Knocking, he hopes that Hibari will have calmed down somewhat.

No such luck. As soon as Takeshi walks in, the prefect fixes his menacing gray eyes on him.

"What?" Takeshi manages to say before he hears a yowl. A very familiar, loud yowl that he hears every day._ Shoot_, he thinks. _What has that fiend done now?_

The prefect leans over his desk and growls, "This cat is ruining the order of Namimori. I have seen it around your house. It is under your care, correct?"

Takeshi nods and gulps almost imperceptibly. Now he had a pretty good idea of what the commotion earlier in the day was about. _Damn this cat and its pride,_ he thinks. _Now I need to clean up after you._

Hibari glares at Takeshi and says, "You, Yamamoto Takeshi, are suspended from club activities for three weeks. Now leave, herbivore."

Takeshi feels like the world has been pulled out from under his feet. Baseball season may have ended, but the team still practised some throwing and catching in the gym. Three weeks away is like a nightmare.

"Isn't there another way?" Takeshi asks, hiding his growing anxiety behind one of his trademark smiles.

The prefect stands threateningly. "Leave, herbivore."

Takeshi nervously backs up slightly, but refuses to leave the room. Hibari, in one swift movement, whips out his tonfa and swings at him. Luckily, Takeshi's shifted slightly and only gets grazed.

"Whoa, calm down!" Takeshi lifts his hands in front of him placatingly. "Couldn't we talk this out?"

Hibari growls, and Takeshi takes that it Hibari doesn't like to talk. He decides that it might be less painful if he leaves now. He's seen all the delinquents in the school become model students, mostly after a beating by the ruthless prefect. He slowly backs up, edging towards the door. Unfortunately, Hibari seems to be in a fighting mood, and Takeshi's forced to move away from the door in order to dodge a blow that might have broken as few bones. He supposes that if he doesn't want to be in the hospital, he'll need to fight back. Luckily, he has a weapon: the shinai that the kendo team gave him when they begged him to join earlier today.

He holds it in the style his father taught him, weeks ago. The Shigure Soen Ryu which he thought he would never use to actually defend himself. He's learned it, even though at the time he thought it was only a game, but despite only being shown once, he'd memorized all eight forms.

He's lucky that Hibari wasn't expecting him to counter; the first strike was all too weak. He's out of practice, having not used the forms for a while. If Hibari had expected Takeshi to actually fight back, Takeshi'd probably been thrown back. As it were, Hibari's barely stopped, but the chance of Takeshi's being the hospital by the end of the day has greatly decreased. Hibari's withdrawn from attacking him, eyes narrowed.

"So you aren't completely an herbivore after all," Hibari muses.

"Haha, what do you mean?" Takeshi's sure not to loosen his stance, after all Hibari might decide to attack him again.

The prefect lowers his tonfa and Takeshi takes it as permission to go. But before he does so, he risks one last time, "Is there another way besides suspension from club activities?"

Hibari turns his head, indifferent, and waves him out. Takeshi sighs and closes the door. He doesn't really want to go tell the coach the news. But he must and so, dragging his feet, he makes his way towards to the gymnasium.

Sighing, Takeshi makes his way to his house. He's not surprised to find all the couch cushions shredded, and in the middle of the mess, the little furry demon. Takeshi sighs again, and points an accusing finger at the cause of his troubles.

"You. If you have to fight, don't get me caught up in it. Understand?"

The cat looks slightly to the side, and Takeshi swears it sniffs. Takeshi turns slightly, and the cat, seeing this as an opening, lunges. Takeshi feels a rush of air, and twists so the cat only grazes his ear. Takeshi, not willing to have a fight at such bad time, turns and heads into his bedroom. He drops his bag somewhere on the floor, and flops facedown onto his bed. He rolls onto his side, and stares into the gloom of the room. Finally, deciding that he has had enough time to mope, he heads downstairs to fix dinner.

And what he finds is unexpected, to say the least. The ruthless feline that was present ten minutes ago has been replaced with a bloody furball that doesn't look like it's breathing.

"Hey," Takeshi says, nudging it with his foot. It doesn't move. The seriousness of the situation dawns on him. "Shit."

He gathers the bloody feline in his arms, and wonders what to do. He's guessing that he can't exactly call the ambulance on a cat, but he's pretty damn close, until he remembers the flyer stuck in the mailbox a few days ago. Something about a new vet opening up nearby. Carefully, he makes his way to the door, and heads off towards the vet.

When he pushes the narrow door open, a man, looking about in his early twenties, looks up. He has a surprised look on his face, but gets up quickly.

"I'm guessing your cat got in a fight," the man says quickly. He strides to a door, waving for Takeshi to follow.

"So what exactly happened?" the vet asks, already examining the cat.

"I'm not sure," Takeshi replies. "I just came downstairs and saw him like this."

"Mm," the man mumbles, and seemingly having forgotten about Takeshi, goes on to disinfect, give shots to and sew up the cat, along with some other things that Takeshi doesn't understand, and Takeshi quietly backs out of the room. Once outside, he collapses onto a chair, while waiting for a verdict.

Minutes later, the man slips outside, and Takeshi lifts his head.

"He's fine."

Takeshi lets out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. He laughs nervously.

"Dino Cavallone," the vet says, holding out his hand.

"Yamamoto Takeshi," Takeshi says, taking his hand.

Cavallone reaches for a pen and a file, flipping it open. He holds the pen poised over the paper. "So, I'll need to know a few things about him. What's his name?"

"Uh." Takeshi looks down at the paper, which is blank as far as he can see. "He doesn't—I just call him _cat,_if I call him anything at all." Anything that was repeatable in polite company, anyway. He rubs the back of his neck. "Guess I never did get around to giving him a name. He's not a pet, he just lives with me."

"Uh huh," Cavallone must be an awesome poker player. He has a completely straight face. "Well, how old is he?"

"I….don't know?" Takeshi says, realizing that he probably is the worst cat servant ever. Cavallone raises his eyebrows and that leads to explaining how the cat just moved itself in a few months ago, and no, he's never had the guts to wrangle it to a vet's for shots for fairly obvious reasons. And then—"Oh God," he says, horrified. "No, uh—if he wakes up and finds his balls missing, he will _kill me in my sleep."_

Cavallone laughs like he thinks it's all a joke, and puts the file away. He lays down a whole array of drops, pills and bottles for the eye, and the ear and all the other medication needed. "All right," he says. "He's sleeping off his sedative right now. Would you like to see him?"

"He really _is_going to kill me while I sleep," Takeshi says, surveying the shaved places in the cat's fur. Cavallone laughs and finds a bag for the medicine as Takeshi bundles the cat into a towel.

"So, come back in a week or so, so that I can check on the stitches and everything. It's going to be a few hours before he wakes up. And then-"

"The fun begins." Takeshi can't help making a face. Cavallone laughs, and Takeshi pays the bill (luckily he had his wallet in his jacket) and leaves.

Takeshi had resigned himself to feline-induced anemia. But he had no idea.

The cat is not even the slightest bit interested in having drops put into its eye or in taking any pills whatsoever, whether they're wrapped in a bit of sliced meat or buried in a pellet of cheese or shot down its throat with the medicinal equivalent of a pellet gun, all of which Takeshi tries in increasing desperate attempts to give the cat the damn pills. Teensy little brain notwithstanding, the cat isn't at all stupid and learns remarkably fast. Medicine time turns into a battle royale of wits and wills and blood, mostly his. "God," he says. "I can't take much more of this," he mutters.

Takeshi is aware that he is, depressingly, losing this battle. He knows that he should probably do something, and all he can do is hope that the pills he does manage to get into it does some good, and the energy level of the cat says something for its health.

However, he did win the fight over the stitches. The first time he saw the cat, twisted up like a pretzel, worrying at its stitches, he pointed an accusing finger, and said, "Stop that." The cat graciously ignored him, but he continued, "Seriously. You keep doing that and I will put you in the cone."

The cat gazed at him in flat disbelief, and snarls.

"I don't care that you're not a goddamn dog. I will put you in the cone. I'm sure that those cats you hang around with will find it extremely flattering."

The beast flattened its ears at this comment, but it, so slightly that Takeshi would never had noticed it if he wasn't watching for it, allowed a flash of horror to cross its face. Then, turning its head roughly to the side, it sat up, with the air of having never, ever even _considered _worrying at its stitches.

"Just so we're clear," Takeshi had muttered under his breath, aware that the cat was probably cussing him out in every way.

And, seeing that it was about time to bring the injured feline for his follow up visit, Takeshi had borrowed a cat carrier from Tsuna. Probably not the best idea, as when the cat took one whiff, it flipped out. Oh, Takeshi thinks. Right. Cats. Territorial issues. Right. Somehow managing to unceremoniously stuff the yowling feline in, he shuts the door tightly. And withdraws his hand in the nick of time, as one paw, all claws fully extended, jabs the air through the bars.

Takeshi isn't sure how long it takes to get the cat to the vet's. The terror has figured out how to rock the carrier just so, so that Takeshi's grip would slip slightly, and the cat could take a shot at his thigh, wrist, hand-anything that was in close proximity to the bars. When he finally manages to place it on the counter, he's flushed and panting slightly.

"Yamamoto Takeshi," he pants, and Cavallone looks up.

"Ah, hello! I thought it was about time of you to be popping in. This way, Yamamoto-san."

When Takeshi opens the bars, the cat races out, but he's ready. Just barely catching the cat, he pins it to the examination table while it hisses things at him that would definitely be unprintable on paper.

"Hey, stop," he says."The _nice _vet is only going to look at your stitches. At least pretend to be civilized for him"

The cat hisses and attempts to draw blood.

"Oh, you know exactly what I mean by that."

The little fiend flattens its ears and yowls.

"What do you mean, what's in it for you? We're talking bribes now, is that how it is?"

Cavallone is suddenly having a coughing fit. Takeshi finally manages to placate the cat with a whole tuna filet-What else could you ask for?-and shrugs.

The cat looks disgruntled as Cavallone pokes and prods it, but refuses to allow the vet to take its temperature. Takeshi can't help expecting that. "And you didn't even bother getting him at least a whole fish first."

"How rude of me," Cavallone agrees. He looks at the stitches, and comments, "I think these can come out."

The cat flicks its tail irritably but stays still as the stitches are cut carefully.

"Well, I think he's done," Cavallone says, flashing what would be a lady killer's smile at Takeshi.

"Thank you very much," Takeshi responds and prepares to leave.

The cat looks back at Cavallone and spits out insults that would not be repeatable.

"Really," Takeshi says as he exits. "He was only trying to help."

The cat's only response is the sound of claws against the sides of the carrier.

Just then, Takeshi catches sight of Hibari, on his patrol. The cat noticeably stiffens and hisses. The prefect simply looks fleetingly at the carrier before fixing his menacing grey eyes on Takeshi. Before he says a word, however, the cat starts making an awful racket, and Takeshi quickly switches his priority to silencing the cat. When he looks up, Hibari is gone.

When Takeshi opens the cage to His Highness the cat, it darts out quickly but sits just in front of Takeshi, and proceeds to stare at him. After a few minutes, Takeshi breaks the staring contest, and to his amazement, the cat begins to rub its head along his arm. Then, it leaps out a open window and vanishes. Takeshi, surprised, doesn't make a move to stop it. When the full implication of what the cat did hits him, he's even more confused. But not willing to mull over the mysteries of cats, he turns his attention to cooking the filet.

When the cat doesn't return, he's concerned, to say the least. The beast has never failed to miss a meal. The world out there is full of hazards to cats, he thinks, and instantly regrets it. He's worried. He calls his friends, asks if they've seen a cat. The response, every time is no. So, he concludes, all he can do is wait.

A few days later, Takeshi concludes that the cat probably isn't coming back. Sighing, he wonders why he isn't rejoicing that the little fiend has left his life without so much as a backward glance. Maybe it's because, as hard as it is to admit it, he's grown fond of the beast.

"I'm back!"Takeshi's father calls from the door.

"Ah, Dad!" Takeshi starts, all the while thinking, with a trace of guilt, that he had indeed forgotten about his father's return today.

"As I was coming home, I saw one of your friends. He looked a little lost, so I told him that he could walk with me.

"A friend?" Takeshi gets up. He doesn't think that he's expecting somebody today. As he pokes his head out into the hall, beside the familiar figure of his dad, he sees a tall, lithe man, with long silver hair. When he raises his face, Takeshi knows the familiar grey eyes. He finds himself breaking into a smile even as the man looks off to the side. Because he knows that his cat has returned.

**Review? I'll give you cookies.**


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